i don't dream anymore, actually.

since ive been so busy with school, i never get time to write about my dreams because I DONT EVEN HAVE TIME TO DREAM! i only get like 6 hours of sleep max each night..studying studying studying. i feel like once i close my eyes to sleep i need to wake up the next minute. whenever i stretch and try to go back to sleep, daddy opens the door and tells me to WAKE UP. and if its rainy, he just turns my light on which pissses mee off.
or..he'll be rinsing his mouth w/listerine and going like BRBRBRBWAKEUPBRBRBRBR
so annoying :(

dreams have taken all out of me.

Since I've been dreaming really less lately, I will create another blog and update my dreams here as often as possible.

my family+an unknown nice guy

It took my daddy a while to finish parking outside the place where we were meeting a friend for dinner. We were all rushed out of the car, until daddy's cellphone rang. Turns out dinner was postponed. We decided to go shopping inside the huge flea market like place.There were lots of paulfrank stuff, and there was this guy who was with me the whole time shopping with me. When I asked how much a paulfrank poster was, I woke up. =P

I've dreamed so much..no time to post until NOW (:

Though I might have 2 followers reading my blog in blogland for a long time, I think this is really really interesting for myself, but also my readers. thank you! and if you like my dreams, please FOLLOW MY BLOG. Before blogging about my dream, I have good news! After my music examination on August 8th of this month, I'm going to Hong Kong until September 6th. YEYE! I might even also go to Taiwan and Hong Kong. I believe one of the major factors of the things and events we dream about have a relationship with the place where we live. This time, I'm living with my uncle who lives in a very tiny apartment. I wonder what I'll dream about there! haha the next 3 posts are separate dreams that happened during a time span of 3 nights. Because I've been too busy studying (8 days left until my exam..I need to smarten up as soon as possible!), I haven't been able to post on a daily basis. But I WILL TRY SO HARD. + even if I dont post my dreams, I visit my own blog everyday whenever I'm free to read about what i've been dreaming about. so here they are!

attached to this post is a picture of my fav. tv show of all time-ARTHUR's picture. LOL

significant dream

I was 16. It was a cold winter day, and I was wearing my leather jacket and shivering. My brother had promised earlier to pick me up outside the old building near our house, for some reason. I was scared, because everyone there seemed ill and it was a really dark place. Since there was a blizzard outside, there was no sign of the sun and the sky was charcoal grey. I was standing by the door, looking nervous and shaking due to the weather. A woman came up to me. She seemed like a nice young woman, appeared to be in her mid-30's. She looked Korean, and she came up to me to talk to me. I don't know why, but I had an instant connection with this woman..i felt like i knew her from somewhere. We talked for a long time, i lost track of time. Suddenly, my cellphone rang and my brother asked me where I was. We said goodbye. I woke up and i was a sophisticated lawyer in a business suit. I had to go to the old building because my mommy really liked the raisin bread that the bakery had there. Inside the bakery, there was a young guy around my age really focused and reading his really long book about medicine. I asked him if he wanted to be a doctor, and he sounded as if he had no confidence in himself. "Besides," he said. "I can't afford tuition to university." He was like me when i was young (in reality, I am lacking confidence.)I talked to him a lot too, and we became really good friends. While I was ready to leave the building, I saw the Korean lady I met years ago once again reading the newspaper at the food court. I sat down in front of her and talked to her. It was always me who told her stuff, I was telling her about myself. She sat and chatted away with me, but she never told me anything about herself. I asked her if she wanted to eat at the restaurant nearby, since i didnt have lunch yet. She looked frightened by the thought of it and said "NO, NO! YOU GO EAT, IM GOING TO WALK AROUND THE BUILDING." What she said gave me a feeling that she was afraid to go into the restaurant. I felt like she was too poor to afford food and didn't want to go through the embarassment walking in. I felt really bad for her. The next morning, I went to the bakery and asked the guy if he has seen a Korean lady around with glasses, a little shorter than me. He told me she was a really poor lady who had recently divorced her husband and had no place to live. During the day, she would stay in the old building and walk around talking to no one. She was a miserable lady, and always walked past the building. The guy told me sometimes at the end of the day when he had leftover bread, he would give them out to her. I felt really bad for this lady, she seemed like a really nice woman. I left the guy $21.50 and asked if he could give her enough food for all 3 meals each day. I promised to go back in a couple of days to continue paying him for food for the lady if she really walked past and ate at the bakery everyday. A couple of days later, I went back to the building and the bakery was closed. I walked to the food court to look for the lady, but she was gone also. Nobody knew where they went, but some said they went to the city. Time had past by, and I had almost forgotten about the existence of these two unique people. I had to go interview at a law firm at a building for the most successful people with the best occupations in the world in a big city. I had originally booked an interview with the owner of the law firm, but when I was let into the room, there he was. The guy who owned the old bakery that nobody went to. He was dressed really really really really well. He had a Zegna suit and Prada Vernice shoes. He didn't look up when I entered the room though. He was busy checking up on his stock investments. "Tell me about yourself," he told me. I was too surprised to answer him. How could two people look so similar? I didn't answer him. He started looking really annoyed and looked me in the eye and asked me half the question. Then, his jaw dropped. Our long stare at each other was interrupted by a phone call. It was one of those webcam like phone calls where you can just talk into the phone and see the person on the other line. There was sound coming from behind, and the person he was on the phone with appeared on the television behind me. I didn't really look at the person, I just glimpsed for about 2 seconds to see a prosperous woman with a Hermes Birkin Bag and Cartier earrings. "We're opening our 23rd bakery in Beijing! Just when I was about to leave the room, the voice of the woman struck me. I felt like somebody had smashed my head from behind. I looked into the television, and there she was. The poor young lady who couldn't afford to eat. It was all just a camouflage. They were always rich, they were just looking for people with real, caring hearts. And in my dream, that person was me.

a snap back into reality+dream.

we were really close buddies for a month or so..
we used to talk alot and alot..
but afterwards i felt scared that he was doing the same with other girls.
he had no direction. i was tired of being left hanging by him on AIM for 5-10 minutes and have him come back to me and ask boring questions or tell me he had "gtg."
he stopped talking to me entirely.
i dedicate most of my AIM names to him
i can't say that i like him, but he was more than any of the other shallow guys.
we had a lot in common, and he was a friend i wanted to hold on to forever.
"i would talk to him first..one time and the next he would need to say hi to me first." that's my rule.
so he never talked to me again.
yeah, maybe it seems like im being too hard on myself..but everytime i talk to him first i regret it and feel like i've done something wrong.
maybe its the feeling i got when i met a new friend..
and once its gone..its gone forever and the conversations get boring
i guess im happy that right now i'm reflecting on the good conversations and not worrying about how bad it is to talk to him and getting him bored.
it's so hard to find someone who would treat me like i'm everything to them.
i wish at 11:11 for my husband. i don't know where he is in the world, what he's doing, or who he's with, what he looks like, his personality, looks, etc. i just know that this person is going to love me someday and i want to give him happiness everyday until he meets me. that's because i know i'll make him really happy. and he'll make me very happy too.

so..i have been dreaming about that guy for 3 nights now. first dream took place at his house and it seemed like i was forced to live with him. in my dream, he lived under a restaurant. at the top floor of the restaurant, there was an old witch lady who abducted people everyday and she was the boss of the restaurant. every kid knew of this lady, but the parents thought it was just a joke. i lived with him, and we slept in the same room. he let me sleep on his bed and he slept on the floor. i had a really hard time sleeping, and i told him the next morning. afterwards, he introduced me to a lady-his mom and his sister..and in the dream he had another sister also.

during the second dream, i had snuck into his huge house and looked through all his stuff. his parents were hosting a party and were too busy to notice me. when i knew he was back from hockey practice, i tried running down the stairs and he saw me. still knowing that his parents weren't watching, i told him i was just using the washroom upstairs. he completely ignored me in my dream. he didn't seem to care that i was there and why i was there. he just walked past me.

during yesterday's dream, we were on some kind of school trip. even the girls who always stuck to him weren't stuck to him anymore. we were at a cabin-like place where there were many rooms. everyone was in one room, and i was with my friend VC in another. i had eaten dinner already, but my friend VC wanted to eat mcdonalds. therefore we walked to mcdonalds in the pouring rain. after she bought her dinner, i ordered my icecream cone and was ready to leave. on my way out, i saw him with someone who i would consider his sister and his grandpa. my friend decided to go back to our rooms first so she could eat. after i said hi to him, it started thundering with lightning outside and his grandpa insisted that i sit with them until the rain stopped. i was eating my icecream cone, and his sister was scared of the pen marks on all of the napkins. in my dream, i acted as if pen marks were very normal on napkins and volunteered to rip all the parts of the napkins with pen marks. i could feel that his grandpa was looking at me in awe..thinking i was being really considerate and caring for this little 7 year old girl who i have just met.

my dreams may not seem very entire and have endings to them, because my mommy wakes me up when it's time for afternoon tea. i sleep until 3 pm now. i love summer. just don't like dreaming of him and his parents and family, who i have no idea what in the world they look like or what type of people they are..

i'm never posting..sorry

it's been such a long time since i've last posted here on blogger.
that's because i started using xanga and all my friends would actually read everyday.
sorry!
i've had many dreams, actually..and i've jotted down stuff about them so one day i can sit at home the whole day to post them all.
muhahaha
byee.

PS i've got a music exam on august 8 so if i dont post until then, sorry but all my dreams will be handwritten in my dream book and typed up asap <3 thank for reading.

my day, no dream.

i really need to go to bed 'cause i just came back from wonderland at 9 30 and im sooo tired both of my legs are soo tired. im going to splat lots of deapheat onto it (: im sooooooooooooo relieved its over like omg.
hahaha but i couldn't go to bed YET because i need to record all the things i've accomplished today!
this morning, i met up with rachel, nicole, and amy to take the TTC and GO bus to go to canada's wonderland. this is like the first time i've been to wonderland, because the last time i went i was 1 and a half. surprisingly, the last time i went to wonderland i was allowed to get into one of the scariest rides. i was 1 and a half, just to reassure you. my aunt had to take me up because my mommy was (and still is!) afraid of heights. i thought i'd be okay..
we got there at 10 ish and the rides were ready at 10 30 already. the first thing we played was The Rage ( i sat with nicole (:) , where a boat goes back and forth high up into the air. It was high for me, but not at all for my friends. they all put their arms up, but i was really reluctant to do so. it was fun though (: because its so confusing which staircase is for which ride, i had no idea what to expect for the The second thing we went on was Silver Streak. I really got up there thinking.."what am i doing up here? what am i doing with my life? my life is more than this extreme risk taking. mommy's not here to save me if anything happens." the security cushion around my head kept hitting my cheeks and my earrings were stabbing into my ears. it was really painful. Nic and I sat at the first seats. I decided ot tell Amy to keep my earrings for me somewhere safe because it was hurting me wayyy too much =(. It's actually a family ride, except its an INVERTED ride! Those scare me the most because when we're inverted, nothing's really keeping us alive except that cushion pushing at our shoulders and the seatbelt tugging in between our legs. That's soo scary. sooo scary. Next, we went on one that looked like something for kids, since it was wooden and seemed like it was based on bears or something. it was called Dragon Fire (sounds like a childish name, no?) when i got up, i still thought that was what was coming for me. I sat with Rachel this time, and I almost died because it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long i thought it was never ever going to end. it was also really shaky. it felt like i was sitting in my brother's modded TL a-spec going up and being pushed down the street backwards in a shopping cart coming back down. i think i took in too much air during this ride. ahha. ahhhh. next, we went on Thunder Run where I sat with Amy. At this point, i knew i was the most scared person on the planet.after, they wanted to play this spinny thing where they had to stand up and the thing would spin them around and going up higher at the same time. i didnt go on this one, because i couldn't handle spinny things..i just really hate that feeling. i started getting hungry at that point. we watched people on the nearby ride, DROP ZONE going very high up into the air and dropping down at the speed of light. i heard of the accident in Six Flags in Kentucky for the same ride where a girl lost her right leg, so i didnt encourage anybody to play this one :(. next, we went on Thunder Run where I sat with Amy. At this point, i knew i was the most scared person on the planet. We were going to go for lunch, but Amy Rach and Nic wanted to go on the Skyrider, a standing up roller coaster. i knew it was impossible for me to survive without killing a million brain cells or avoid a heart attack if i went up there, so i just waited for them to line up and go on it (: after (sorry..so many AFTERS). fine. THEN, we went on the ride where there was a huge splash at the end of a roller coaster (w. rach the first time, nic the second hehe the best of both worlds?).LOL. i REALLY liked this one because we just went up once and came down once. at the end of the decline, there was a huge splash of water and it went slowly..then there would be water on the RIGHT side splashing us again. hahahah. we were really wet after, and we were still in our clothes. but we didnt care. we went on again. (: thank god i took my winnie the pooh towel with me today!! you saved me again, winnie <3.>.< cool ="(."> after, we FINALLY ate lunch. after lunch, we went to see the 3D spongebob thingy which i REALLY liked because it was really really fun and the chairs were movinggg. at first i thought we were only lining up to wear these yellow cool glasses

she dreamed a dream..

let's say i was pretty determined not to post on my blog or use the internet at all today. that was until my mommy told me she had a weird dream during her nap this afternoon. while she was sleeping, she suddenly felt really cold and saw 2 men in tuxedos. one was cantaloupe-coloured and the other was honey melon-coloured. she said it felt like they were pulling a prank on her and sticking their faces really close to mommy. and then she told me she didn't wake up after because she was already half awake. that creeped me out a little bit, because it meant there was a chance that there were actually two men who appeared in her bedroom..and both daddy was at work and brother was at work today
oh.
and yes, i do believe in the paranormal.
and i really hope it was really a dream for mommy..

a week of hard work, 2 months of freedom.

its true..
i didn't write on my blog for a WEEK.
sorry.
i had exams starting last thursday, so i was studying and procrastinating (:
i've been on my blog via the link to just stare at my blog and read, except i was too lazy to sign on and stuff.
again, sorryy. i have 3 exams this semester- history was last thursday, science was on monday, and i have french tomorrow. since its midnight, supposedly i still have one day tmr to study?
yay!
i should be studying right now, but instead im getting ready to watch Millionaire's First Love again, write my bestie's airplane letter, and stare at french notes blankly.
im gonna miss irene. she's flying to hk in 4 weeks! she left me last summer too, but i wasnt feeling as bad last time. this time, im really gonna miss her! even though shes really temperamental and she has issues LOL!! i love her so much and im gonna miss her sooo much even though we'll be msn-ing, on the phone, facebooking. ahhh im gonna miss her. shes going to hong kong, korea, mainland, taiwan, and china. wow. shes superwoman. i always knew!
k im going to wonderland this friday, and the weather forecast says: OMG NO WAY!!!! *prays*
Cloudy with 70 percent chance of showers. Low 17. High 21.
recently, ive been really obsessed with Marie Digby, a girl who started out on youtube who now has a contract signed with a record company. the lyrics of her original songs really touch my heart and represent the feelings and emotions about my love, the one and only _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . cant even type his name on my blog..it makes me crumble when i see what im feeling
Marie Digby-Say it again..

The thing about love
Is i never saw it coming
It kinda crept up and took me by surprise
And now there`s a voice inside my heart that`s got me wondering
Is this true, i want to hear it one more time

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Just a little louder

Say it again for me
Cuz i love the way it feels when you are telling me that i`m
The only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It`s like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you`re in love
Say it again

Thing about you is you know just how to get me
You talk about us like there`s no end in sight
The thing about me is that i really want to let you
Open that door and walk into my life

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Just a little louder

Say it again for me
Cuz i love the way it feels when you are telling me that i`m
The only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It`s like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you`re in love

And it feels like it`s the first time
That anybody's ever brought the sun without the rain
And never in my whole life
Have I heard words as beautiful as when you say my name

Say it again for me
Cuz i love the way it feels when you are telling me that i`m
The only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It`s like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you`re in love
Say it again

When you tell me you`re in love
Say it again

k its so late
im going to watch tv and stuff (:
ttyl.
<3>
-Misha

i found out yesterday...

that..


I PASSEDD!!! yayyy. i checked for my mark in the library today with two of my best buddies this year-amy and rachel. and guess what? i got a 60 on the dot! i was so happy yesterday, but couldn't post it..i was starting to study for my history exam tomorrow! I have it at 12:45..i studied until 2 last night, because i was literally reading my 500 page textbook. this morning, my bestie irene wasnt here 'cause she had her piano examination in the afternoon. jessica left me in keyboard class after getting her mark..so i really wanted the triplets to skip with me. turns out rach had to switch slots with the timetable, so we all waited for her and ate lunch after. OH. and today..i killed the ugliest beetle like bee thingy. lol. Nicole took off her shoe for me and I hesitated for REALLY long to kill it. then after like 20 minutes, i swear i saw it moving again, so i smacked it again. sorry, buggy. sorry. you scared my friends. i couldn't let a little thing like you survive. btw..i'll post pics of the bug asap after nicole posts them on facebook. haha so after lunch, rachel amy joyce and i all skipped our class..then last period me and amy were looking at our yearbooks and i was studying hard! turns out my buddy lawrence made study notes and sent them to me..from 10-12 tonight we were studying and testing each other over the phone. thanks lawrence <3>
im REALLY sleepy right now, didnt do much studying. i'll wake up tmr at 10 to do it.
let's hope i dream tonight!
xoxo

This past week was all panicking. I recently wrote my Harmony 5 RCM theory examination a month ago and results were supposed to be posted online starting today. Today, I was sitting at my computer since 3:55 clicking and refreshing every 10 seconds until 5. I messaged my friends who also took the exam who went to lessons with me, and they have all gotten their results back. I'm so scared, because I made a lot of stuff up on the exam and I think I messed up a question worth many many many many marks. im really scared. why am i the only one who didnt get my mark back yet? the last date for marks to be posted is the 22nd. what if i actually need to wait that long to only find out i failed something? life is so so so so painful at the moment. just when will i be my normal happy self again? please pray for me..as i will be tonight before going to bed pray for me to pass pray for me to not disappoint my parents, who love me so much and invested in this one and only talent of mine..

PEEKABOOOO Kim Bum sees you. LOL
I haven't posted in a couple of days, because I've been suffering from a really high fever (39.4 celsius) and had to stay in bed and eat tylenol day and night. I'm still a bit sick, my voice isn't back yet..and i'm coughing like crazy. Everyone at school seems to be sick also..its creepy. When I'm sick, I tend to think and hallucinate alot due to to the meds. This time, 2 dreams definitely stood out. 1. I was a part of a beauty pageant. During the talent part of the competition, a girly guy (who i actually know in reality) played the 2nd movement of Fantaisie Impromptu and received a lot of applause from the audience. I also prepared to play the whole Fantaisie Impromptu, but for some reason the keys on the grand piano were soooo hard to strike and it was a big mess. At the end, I was laughed at and my parents were really embarassed. I felt really bad when i woke up, because I got my piano teaching certificate by playing the Fantaisie impromptu as one of my assessment pieces, so its impossible for me to play it terribly by now. haha (: 2. It was Dance Night, a night where all dance crews at my school showed off their talent to dance. A really professional group was invited to perform at our school and I was watching my friends rehearse for their Korean Tell Me Dance. One of the guys (who i never ever meant before, but was good looking) asked me if I could be a part of their dance and help control them..like puppets. I told them I had to ask my mommy because it was already 3:30 and my mommy had waited for me after school since 3:00. It took a while for me to find my mommy and I had to persuade her to allow me to help the guy. When I ran back to the stage to tell the guy I was able to help him, he had already left with his crew. That was the end of my dream :( I have exams and summatives this week and the next 2 weeks to come. I'm really stressed.. and I've got an essay to right in history tomorrow. I'm still sick. I'm going to finish my episode of Knock Knock Loving You and go to bed. <3>

LOL im loving this girl.

Allison Harvard-Creepy Chan?

I've been watching ANTM ever since cycle one, and so i definitely had my eyes on Allison Harvard, a sweet girl from Louisiana which had eyes resembling a Blythe doll. I really wanted her to win, and I was really disappointed when Teyona won the competition. This sweet and a awfully absurd girl is really loved by people worldwide now, but only b-tards recognized her face ever since the first episode of the season's ANTM was aired-she was Creepy Chan. She was a girl who posted eerie and blood-chilling pictures of herself with big, a little abnormal eyes.In my opinion, she's not creepy at all. She's a really sweet girl with a cute personality. She's really special, because she's one of us. Definitely different from the rest. The font's red-she likes blood. gahh!

wanna know more about Creepy Chan?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkS6djz1y0Q&facebook.comNR=1

did i make it that easy to just walk in and out of my life?

i think im in love with you again.
i think im in love with you again.
i think im in love with you again.

you're all i think about every breath i take.
im in love with you again.
i tried to forget about you.
i tried to take it all away
everytime i run from you, all i do is pout.
why did this happen to us?
why did you allow us to be so distant,
when we were once 2 become 1?
i heard that you changed,
changed back into the you that i fell in love with 2 years ago.
hardworking, comitted, and determined.
it hurt me to see you going out with other people,
i gave up. as time went by,
i slowly noticed.
you gave up too.
goodbye my almost lover,
goodbye my hopeless dreams.
cant you just let me be?

green-the colour you wore the day you made me so sure that you were the one for me.
orange-the colour I wore the day you decided to break my heart 161 days, 13910400 seconds, 231840 minutes, 3864 hours, and 23 weeks later.

today-im 100% sure.
im still in love with you.

when the world is going through a pretty tough time..

"when the world is going through a pretty tough time and we're looking for a bit of hope and inspiration, along came Susan Boyle to provide it." -Piers Morgan

Susan Boyle has actually brought me, my friends, and my family a lot of hope and inspiration. i clearly remember the night Susan Boyle was on the news; my family gathered around the dining room watching and my mommy couldn't get enough of Susan's singing. she quickly asked me to find the clip of her singing I Dreamed a Dream on Youtube and we watched it countless times, each time telling another family member to join in to enjoy this wonderful hidden talent being discovered by millions around the world. Susan Boyle is definitely a very inspirational woman, and I really hope she has a chance to perform in front of someone her country really respects-the Queen.

there's always something or someone who routes to ruin you.

i was starting to enjoy the sunny hot summer weather outside, and i was finally ready to pull out my jean shorts-but-now that i look outside, the sky is about to cry. there's gonna be at least 10mm of rain tonight. rainy weather naturally makes me really depressed...i only like to sleep in the nasty weather but if i need to go outside when its a drout, oh no. no thank you! today was a tiring day. exams are getting close, and everyone is stressed. this morning i had my piano test for my keyboard class. i finally performed the moonlight sonata 3rd movement at the beginning of lunch. it felt like any second i was playing, my heart was beating a million beats per second and my hands were aching and pleading to stop. i managed to finish playing the whole piece in less than 8 minutes and i was really proud of myself that i have completed such a challenging piece with such velocity and technical skill. in 3rd period today, we had a work period to work on our project. therefore i was able to escape from the creepy guy. i was also attempting to text my friend during the class, but i made it really obvious and didnt even bother to set the phone to SILENT. after school, i went to my buddy irene's apartment to work on our project with my other friend jess. we ate a 4 course meal. like..actually. we ate sushi, pizza, cupcakes, and "tofu fa" (a traditional chinese dessert served with syrup made from tofu). we fooled around, didnt get much work done. i was really excited for youtube and we watched a million britains got talent vids. im really routing for diversity/susanboyle/juliansmith-those are definitely my faves. im really sleepy and the grey sky's just encouraging to take a short nap before watching dramas and starting some summatives for school. so tired. wishing all of you guys a happy life. don't let the terrible weather ruin you! for some reason my attached image reminds me of Twilight. yes? no?

creepy guy beside me 3rd period

yay.
this is going to be my first non-dream post!
its about something i'm really worried about.
well..someone!
we sit in pairs in one of my classes and 2 of my friends decided to sit together
therefore, i sat alone at the farthest back of the room alone.
there was this guy who never talks to anyone and just whispers when the teacher forces him to talk. he sat to my right..a couple metres away.
one day, he suddenly sat in the empty seat next to me, and i thought "oh its ok..maybe he just can't see the board clearly." but then his friend came back from vacation and he still remained sitting beside me.
fine fine.
whatever.
so here's the scary part.
one day, me and my friend were talking (we had a supply teacher that day) and my friend suddenly looked scared and told me in chinese "whatever you do, DONT look at the person beside you."
so i thought to myself..fine..maybe hes like..changing or something.
hahaha =P i even sniffed once even though my sense of smell is REALLY BAD
then around 2 minutes later my friend said it was okay to look. the wait has made me so afraid of what he was doing that i didnt look at him after. i asked my friend what was going on.
and turns out his awkward habits and quiet self was just a veil, uncovering a very nasty monster on the inside.
i'm now afraid to go to my 3rd period classes.
if i change seats, my friend would be mentally disrupted by this scary guy since they were eye-to-eye and my friend saw what was happening.
if i sit beside him, im threatening my own existence and harming myself.
i want to run away..
run away
from this scary scary world.
a world where differences are unavoidable, a world where the right can be wronged. eternally.

if i can only alter ones dreams to make them absolutely perfect..

how can something really perfect turn into something that haunts them in their dreams?
why does it seem as if something's always bothering us even if we try to forget the complicated things that happen to us in our lives?
why do dreams haunt us?
when will our minds give us a break?

since i've been getting less than 5 hours of sleep every night for the past month (essays, projects, television), ive been too tired to even dream. instead, my mommy's been getting the worst of dreams.
my mommy's really well-known among her friends and my relatives to dream on a regular basis and end up screaming (high pitched, long scream!) in the middle of the night and sleeping again. i've slowly gotten accustomed to the fact that she screams in her dreams, because her dreams are always about a treasure being discovered by others or about something she lost. the dream she had last night was really different, though. she wasn't able to fall back asleep yesterday after this one. here it is!

-there was a man in her dream who had skin of a mannequin. he said "this is what being burned looks like.."
slowly, half of his face was being melted away and he was in a pudding-like form on the floor.
my mom screamed, but wasn't able to sleep again.

if i had that dream, i'd be even more terrified than my mommy. why do dreams like these haunt us? my mommy read the newspaper before sleeping, but she said she's never watched any movie or read any story about the one in her dream. i find the dream really eerie in a sense that nobody would ever think of something like it.

wouldn't it be perfect if we could alter our dreams?
sometimes when im half awake and half awake, i'm able to change my dreams by adding characters
when i was younger, i didnt dream often. even if i did, i've obviously already forgotten about it the next morning.

i hope these dreams dont haunt mommy anymore
i hope the dream maker allows my whole family to sleep safe and soundly every night.

Today is a new day.

Since the weather outside was absolutely horrid today, my anger of not being able to go out is slowly fading away. I took a pretty long nap and even missed dinner this afternoon..from 4 30 to 8 25. good, eh? I told you guys i love sleeping. (:

btw i think my signing on skills have gotten better. first i signed on with the wrong email address, but i eventually noticed and logged on using the correct one. though it took me 4 tries, ive improved.

i think ive been watching too many dramas lately.
my dreams are really confusing and often relate to the shows i watch.
ohh by the way.
i watch..ToGetHer, Boys over flowers Korean ver. (watched the final (: this tuesday. ), Gossip Girl, and Americas Next Top Model.
ever get a feeling that youre half away and half asleep but you keep trying to stay away to think about what you wanna dream about next? that ALWAYS happens to me.
thats where all these absurd dreams are born.
hahah

I do dream, but i tend to forget passwords.

the title says it all.
i dream..but im too lazy to log on to blogger and when i do i forget my password and reset instead.
i dont remember the dream i had during my afternoon nap.
but
i decided to write about my terrible day.
when people see me they feel like i live a great life and im treated like a princess and i have everything i want. i have nothing i want. except my laptop where i can rant about life issues (:
when everyone thats around you does something and youre excluded what do u do?
well..i hesitated for a long time and decided to just leave and find my own road.
today i went to see the something i missed.
and i was happy for them.
really really happy.
but someones gotta piss you off on a good day, you know?
im REALLY sad right now.
i had something originally planned but because i said something that pissed somebody driving me off i cant go.
and i really promised that someone. and i was really looking forward to seeing a special someone =( im beginning to feel like the only things that are always there for me are my dolls and im not 2 anymore.
i didnt really piss them off they just always think theyre right like..NO YOU ARE NOT RIGHT thats just a stereotype.
im sad..
and im def. gonna disappoint people.

I haven't been on lately..I guess I'm still not used to this daily routine.
But this week..on Monday the 19th..I had a dream. I remember having a dream like this before with 2 of my many best friends J and A. We were in the car and A took out her ipod touch (which she actually has in reality) and we started watching chinese dramas..and then i told my mommy "see? even A has an ipod touch. you should really get me one" and in reality ive actually asked mommy to get me an ipod touch on the Saturday which theyve declined to. And then in the dream we went to a mall that looks like a mix of markville and vaughan. Inside the mall looks like markville with the stores and everything except the route we take in the car is going to vaughan mills.
(:
This morning i woke up with 2 dreams in mind.
Last night, I've been watching many wondergirls and big bang mvs.
So my first dream involved TOP from big bang.
LOL
YES.
TOP! my fav <3.. dream ="S">
FALL BACK TO SLEEP AGAIN.
ANOTHER DREAM HAS BEGUN.
I'm in my house..as I walk up the stairs i see yellow and red streaming down from a large portrait and i wonder what it is. I walk up to the top floor and realize there's mustard and ketchup all over the carpet. I yell down the stairs at my mom and scream at my brother for having ketchup and mustard all over the carpet. My mom makes ME clean up the mess.
MY MOM WAKES ME UP AND ASKS ME ABOUT MY DREAM
she thinks im crazy (:
and i amm!

My dream Jan. 20/2009

Location: At home, 2nd floor washroom
People: One of my friends (VC) and her dad? LOL random (:
What Happened: i have my study notes with me and we're all in the washroom standing around. I hear the toilet flush and afterwards i lose my notes. I think they flushed the toilet to take my attention away to take my notes. (thinking in my dream..)
its very weird.
i know :D
sweet dreams!

My first post

I've been reading so many different fashion blogs, and I have finally reached a decision to create one myself. I don't want this to be just any blog, though..maybe a blog to record all my bizarre dreams or all these up and downs in my life. Maybe it's just something I can read over a period of time and realize how silly I am going through all this. I'll definitely try posting something each day, or as often as I can. I guess we'll just see..

I usually have more than one dream if I ever have dreams at all in a week. I remember when I was younger, I never had dreams-therefore, no nightmares. As I am growing up, the number of dreams has begun to increase..maybe once a week..to twice a week..to the extent where I have more than 2 dreams a night. I had a 3 really good dreams the day before yesterday..but it seems that I have forgotten them already. But now that I have this blog to keep record, I don't think I'll forget any dreams anym0re. (: I'm excited to dream tonight.